SeeDs Through Time
by Moomba1
Summary: Everyone's favorite FF8 characters have a mishap and end up traveling through time. Guest stars the FF7 characters
1. New Horizons

Quantum SeeDs  
By MoombaMage15  
  
Chapter 1: New Horizons  
(A red airship flies across the sky. The airship is named the Ragnorak and it inhabitants at the moment are the SeeDs, Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine, and Quistis. Selphie is swerving left and right and all over the place while flying and Irvine is next to her. Squall and Rinoa are standing up chatting to each other, while Quistis is sitting in a chair trying to control her nausea.)  
The brunette whose pointy hair is just as deadly as pretty, Selphie: Woo hoo, this is fun!  
The pony-tailed cowboy of the trench coat kind, Irvine: Your doing great…  
The black suited-fur coated-pretty boy, Squall: So, what should we do today?  
Black haired-dog trainer, tifa-looking lady, Rinoa: I dunno, we could go pick up Zell and go shopping in Esthar.  
Squall: OK.  
Rinoa: Hey, Selphie, head towards Balamb.  
(Selphie does a sharp turn and heads in the direction of Balamb.)  
The blond genius of the group, Quistis: SELPHIE!!! (Sarcastically) Could you make it a little bit more bumpy and faster???  
Selphie: OK, what ever you say….  
(Plane swerves all over the place and goes faster.)  
Quistis: NOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
(Balamb Region)  
(Plane lands and group gets off.)  
(Selphie runs ahead eagerly to get to the town, Irvine runs after her. Rinoa and Squall walk towards the town right after Rinoa orders Angelo to get back on the airship. Quistis stumbles off the airship and then starts sprinting toward town holding her mouth and looking kinda green)  
  
(Dincht home)  
(Zell is eating lunch, Ma is boiling water with hot dogs bobbing in it. Big Bad Rascal is running around in the den causing mayhem.)   
Ma Dincht: Zell, you sure eat a lot of hot dogs, boy, where do you fit them all in your stomach?  
The blond spiky-haired fighter, Zell: I dunno, I just love 'em.  
Ma Dincht: (yells at Big Bad Rascal) BOY, you better get your butt in here and sit down!  
The mischievous little boy of Balamb, Big Bad Rascal: No, I don't want to!  
Ma D: You better get your lousy butt in here now before I whoop you, bad!  
Big Bad Rascal: (walks sadly, head drooping to the table.) ok………  
(Then Selphie enters, and a second later Irvine enters and is immediately shoved out of the way when Quistis enters and runs upstairs to the bathroom to puke. Finally Rinoa and Squall enter the house.)  
Selphie: HIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!  
Quistis: Urp…gag…  
Irvine: (grumbling in the corner that he was thrown in.) Hi…….^$#*$#*& &$#*&&^ *&$#@……  
Ma D: (uses her excellent power of being a mother and throws a wooden spoon that whacks Irvine in the forehead) You talk like that again in my house and ill put you over my knee and spank you!  
Big Bad Rascal: Ha Ha  
Irvine: owww!!!! Ok ok ok ok, im sorry…. -_-S (Pulls spoon off and has big imprint on forehead and glares at Big Bad Rascal)  
Squall and Rinoa: -_-S……  
Squall: Hi, Zell, Ma, and Big Bad Rascal, what are you all up to?  
Zell: Just eatin' lunch. Guess what we are having?  
Rinoa: (smiles) Let me guess… is it hot dogs, hot dogs, or hot dogs?  
Zell: (laughs) You guessed it.  
Squall: Don't you ever get sick of those?  
Zell: No, never…..  
Ma D: Why don't you all sit down and join us?  
Irvine: Nah, I'll pass, I think we all ate in Timber. Didn't we?  
Selphie, Squall, and Rinoa: yea…..  
Rinoa: And I don't think Quistis is in any mood to eat right now.  
(Hears Quistis flush the toilet and stumble down stairs. Quistis has an even more pale face then normal.)  
Quistis: ……ugh  
Selphie: Besides don't you know what is in those hot dogs??? I mean they do a bunch of left over body parts of animals. Like the guts of a fish, wings of a thrustavious, eyes of a blobra, and many more things…  
Zell: MMMMM!!!! Blobra…..  
Quistis: urp!!! (Eyes get wide, runs back upstairs, and fills the toilet again)  
Whole Group: -_-S  
Quistis: (Comes down the steps with rage in her eyes and suddenly blasts Selphie with Quistis's Strange Eye Limit Break) You are not flying for a long time…. and if you ever talk about that stuff again, I'll punch you back into next year!!  
Selphie: OOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!  
Quistis: (Glares again and walks outside.) …….  
(Everyone is quiet for a while.)  
Squall: So….. Zell we are going to Esthar to kinda hang out and do a bit of shopping, wanna come?  
Zell: Sure, just let me finish my hot dogs and we'll leave!!!  
Big Bad Rascal: I WANNA GO!!!!!  
Zell: You can't go….  
Ma D: Why not? Well, Zell if he can't go you can't go.  
Zell: AWW, maaa…  
Ma D: Dont you "maaa" me, you take him…  
Big Bad Rascal: Yippee!  
Squall: It wont be that bad Zell, come on lets go.  
Ma D: And you be back here by 7:00, boy, or else you'll get the whoopin' of your life!  
(Everyone leaves the house)  
  
(Quistis is sitting on a bench and has the normal color face again and looks a lot more calm. Quistis gets up and joins the group. Everyone leaves and Big Bad rascal tags along behind.)  
  
(Everyone gets on the airship and Angelo tackles Big Bad Rascal to the ground and licks him all over the face. Zell saves the game.)  
Big Bad Rascal: yuck! Dog germs!  
Rinoa: Angelo get off…  
(Angelo jumps off, does a triple axle twist, a flip, and lands on one foot and balances. Irvine, Zell, and Squall raise cards all saying 10. Rinoa gives him a treat.)  
Quistis: Ok, I'm driving this time! 


	2. Adventure's in Esthar

Chapter 2: Adventure's in Esthar  
(Esthar Region)  
(The Ragnorak is landed on the air port on the sky scraper in Esthar and everyone gets off.)  
Rinoa: Come on Angelo, why dont you come with us.  
(Angelo jumps down and gets next to Rinoa.)  
(Selphie and Big Bad Rascal run around enthusiastically.)  
Selphie: Woo hoo!!!  
Big Bad Rascal: Yippee!!!  
Zell: I could never put my finger on it before, but Selphie would remind me of someone and now I know who… (looks at Big Bad Rascal).  
(Everyone except Selphie and Big Bad Rascal laugh since they are out of ear shot. They go on downstairs and go to the shopping center. Rinoa goes to the Pet Shop, Squall and Irvine go to the Weapons Shop, Zell goes to the Magazine Shop, and Selphie and Big Bad Rascal go to an item shop, and Quistis goes to another item shop. They all browse around.)  
Zell: How much for this copy of Fighting Kings?  
Salesperson: That'll be 500 gil.  
Zell: K. (Pays and leaves the store. Zell picks up his monthly copy of Fighting Kings and practices a few moves from the book while waiting for everyone to come out of the shops. Then notices 3 Esthar Soldiers picking on a moomba. Zell hurries into the Weapons Shop and drags Squall and Irvine out.)  
Zell: Those guys are don't look like they are trying to help that moomba out.  
(Sees moomba on knees doing the sorrowful pleading bit and one of the soldiers pushes the moomba over. Group runs over.)  
Squall: Hey! What do you think you are doing to that moomba?  
(Esthar Soldiers, Zip, Zap, and Zoe, look over at Squall, Irvine, and Zell.)  
Esthar Soldier, Zap: Mind your own business weakling!  
Irvine: Red-fur ball, will you get out of the way?  
(Moomba had been watching so far and moves out of the way.)  
Esthar Soldier, Zip: Are we gonna have to kick your butts? Come on, let's get them….  
  
(Battle mode begins)  
(Squall quickly summons Cactuar and does 10,000 damage to all 3 soldiers.)  
Esthar Soldier, Zoe: Ahh!!! And I didn't even get to say something threatening….  
(Battle ends)  
  
Irvine: That was lame Squall, they didn't even get a chance to put up a fight.  
Squall: Hee Hee Hee….  
Zell: You OK, Moomba?  
The smaller and can stand on 2 legs Red XIII, Moomba: Yea sure….  
Irvine: You can talk????  
Moomba: Duh!, and hey, what was all that about me being Red Fur Ball, you egotistical red-neck cow boy wannabe?????  
Irvine: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!!  
(Squall has to hold Irvine back.)  
Zell: I thought that you could only speak individual words and couldn't be that sarcastic yet?  
Moomba: Yea, but a bunch of us have been learning from a man named Laguna Loire.   
Zell: Hey, we know him. His daughter sent us into a past type world where we could watch what he was doin'. It sucked there 'cause we could only watch and had no control over there actions. But, from what I saw he was a really….weird.  
Moomba: Yea, he was pretty weird. Partly the reason I can be sarcastic is the fact that when Laguna and his two other friends, Kiros and Ward get talking, they drink, and when they drink they get drunk as a dog. They are the three dirtiest old men you've ever known when they are like that.  
Zell: That doesn't sound like him but he did go to a bar a lot, when we saw him in the past.  
(Irvine, during this conversation, has been trying to shoot moomba but Squall won't let him.)  
Squall: Irvine….settle down, man…..  
Irvine: (yells) Frickin'-little-sissy-ass-freak-show-wimp….  
(Irvine keeps on cussing for a long time, Squall paints a picture and auction's it off for 1,000,001 gil, Zell stops a hot dog vender and buys all that he got and eats it, Moomba takes a nap and wakes up and has a cup of coffee, then sends a letter to Guinness Book of World Records to put Irvine in there for "Saying the most words without taking a breath".)  
Irvine: god-damn-frickin-rickin-supercalifragilistic-nerd-o-rama-little…..  
(Another 15 minutes pass.)  
Irvine: stupid-idiotic-mother…..  
Moomba: Shut up!!!!!!!!….Draw: Silence (Little bubble containing "…" appears above Irvine's head).  
(Irvine is still making mouth gestures.)  
Zell: And you can cast magic? When did you guys get to do magic, I thought only monsters that fight and people could cast magic.  
Moomba: Squall's dad got drunk and got into a $50,000 gil bet that he could make a Moomba talk. Well you can guess who the unlucky participant was.  
Squall: Ummmm, uhhhh, Let's go see how Rinoa and the others are doing.  
Moomba: Can I come along, I need a lift to Balamb Garden. They sent a letter to Shumi Village asking for a couple of moombas to come down and work for them. The job is basically making sure the T-Rexaurs don't kill all the newbies in the Training Center. Just let me find my two friend and we can go, maybe you know them, they are called Raijin and Fujin?  
Zell: Oh, they go to school with us….  
Squall: Sure, lets go.  
(Irvine throws a Echo Screen on himself and gets his lovely, cussing voice back. They get about 3 feet when a Esthar Official yells at them.)  
Esthar Official: You are the guys that beat up those soldiers. For that you are banned from the shopping center, and you children, and you children's children, and your children's children's children……….. for three months.  
Squall: OK, be back tomorrow.  
  
(Back in Shopping Center)  
(Everyone is waiting in the center for Squall, Irvine, and Zell, except for Big Bad Rascal who is in the item shop eating as many candies as he can find.)  
Selphie: Where have you guys been?  
Quistis: And what's the Moomba doing with you?  
Rinoa: He's cute….  
(Angelo comes up to Moomba and sniffs him. Moomba hisses at Angelo and the dog hides behind Rinoa. Moomba sticks out his tongue and pulls down the bottom of his eye.)  
Irvine: We had to save the little wimp from three esthar soldiers.  
Selphie: Why were you being attacked by three soldiers?  
Moomba: Cause they are racist and dont like creatures that aren't human….oh, and I laughed at them when they tripped and fell on each other.  
(Everyone rolls their eyes and is silent for a while.)  
Squall: He's gonna go to the Balamb Garden to work….  
(Big Bad Rascal comes out and sees the Moomba, pulls out a big stick and starts hitting the Moomba. Everyone looks astonished for a moment.)  
Moomba: OW! Hey, you little… don't make me kick your butt…  
Zell: You little brat, stop that!!!!  
(Grabs stick away.)  
Big Bad Rascal: But he's red and a creature and can speak….  
Zell: What does that have to do with anything????  
Big Bad Rascal: I dunno, that's what I saw and suddenly I had a an urge to hit him….  
Moomba: -_-S ummm… whatever, just stop kid before I knock a few teeth out of your head…..  
Big Bad Rascal: ulp!….. (Hides behind Squall.)  
Irvine: Lets go find Raijin and Fujin….  
Quistis: Huh? They are here?  
Squall: Yea, apparently he is here with them.  
Selphie: Yea, lets go find them!!!  
Big Bad rascal: (talking to squall) Is she always this hyper??  
Squall: Yea, kinda uncanny isn't it?  
Big bad Rascal: How am I supposed to compare to that kind of hyperness…..?  
  
(Esthar City)  
(Everyone follows looking around and have conversations with random generic characters. Eventually stopping in the center of the city to stop and rest.)  
Rinoa: Where in the hell are those two?  
(Suddenly a loud familiar voice is heard from the street overhead.)  
The fun loving latino, Raijin: Hey Fujin, wanna go on a date, ya know?!?!?  
The gray haired almost mute lady, Fujin: NO!  
(Then a loud punch is heard and Raijin flies off the top street and hits the street in front of Squall and co.)  
Raijin: owwww, ya know…. (Stays laying down on ground.)  
(Fujin jumps off the top street and lands gracefully on the street below.)  
Fujin: ASSHOLE!  
Big Bad Rascal: Cool!  
Fujin: BABY!!!  
(Raijin gets up slowly groaning and holding a hand over his black eye.)  
Raijin: (is hurting bad) Playing…hard to….get…., ya know. (smiles)  
Whole Group except Fujin and Raijin: -_-S  
(Fujin shakes him repeatedly.)  
Fujin: FOOL!  
Moomba: ummm… hi Raijin, hi Fujin.  
(Fujin and Raijin look over surprised. Then both look embarrassed cause someone was watching.)  
Fujin: HI!  
Raijin: Hey Moomba, what cha up to, ya know?  
Moomba: Nothin, just about to head to Balamb Garden. These guys are being nice enough to give us a lift back.  
Fujin: COOL!  
Rinoa: Come on lets go before they change their minds, I dont want to have to rent another car, ya know.  
(Everyone starts heading back to the Ragnorak.)  
  
(Top of Esthar Plane Parking Skyscraper.)  
(They get to the top of the skyscraper in 15 minutes and 300 kicks to Raijin from Fujin later.)  
Squall: What's this?  
(Picks up a piece of paper that is on the airship. Paper reads "Your red airship is parked in a blue airship only zone, you will be fined 1,000,002 gil.)  
Squall: (Little vein sticks out of forehead.) WTF!!!!!   
(Squall sits down and starts crying.)  
Rinoa: Its OK… (rubs Squall's back slowly and comfortingly.)  
Big Bad Rascal: I hate to see a grown man cry… (Puts a paper bag over Squall's head.)  
(2 holes burn in the paper bag from where he is angrily staring at BBR.)  
  
Moomba Mage: I'm going to shorten his name seeing how its getting annoying spelling that big name over and over….  
BBR: WTF!!! You put my name back to normal now!  
Moomba Mage: Shut up or I change it to Behemoth Butt Ralph.  
BBR: OK, OK, you win…  
  
Quistis: (whispering to Zell) Who's he talking to??? (indicating BBR).  
Zell: dunno, I find it better not to ask….  
Quistis: OK….  
Selphie: OK, lets go….  
Raijin: Seeing how Squall has a paper bag over his head, how about I fly, ya know?  
Fujin: NEGATIVE!, …..CRASH!, …..DIE!  
Rinoa: Anyone ever notice that Fujin talks like a slow version of that guy from star trek?  
Fujin: WHAT!!!! (Tries to tackle Rinoa but is held back by Squall, Moomba, Irvine, and Quistis.)  
Zell: ummm…. I think I'll drive this time…. 


	3. Troubles on the Ragnarok

Chapter 3, I think….: Troubles on the Ragnarok  
(In Ragnorak flying to Balamb.)  
Quistis: You sure do fly a lot better then Selphie, Zell.  
(They just have gotten past the Great Salt Lake when a bunch of lights on the control board light up.)  
Quistis: WTF! I shouldn't have spoken so soon.  
(The airship starts going nose down to the ground. Zell pulls some good maneuvers and is able to land with little damage.)  
BBR: That was fun, do it again!  
Zell: Oh hell no we ain't about to do that again in your lifetime….  
Rinoa: WTF! What happened?  
Raijin: It broke, ya know.  
(Zell starts inspecting to see what happened.)  
Selphie: No shit sherlock!  
(Zell starts inspecting wires in control panel.)  
Zell: Here's the problem…  
(Zell pulls out a big rat that had chewed a bunch of wires.)  
Fujin: RAT!  
(Rat jumps off Zell's hand and starts running around.)  
Selphie: Awwww…. It's cute….  
Quistis: AHHHH! (jumps and hangs from some bars above.) Get it away, get it away, get it away….(Keeps repeating.)  
Fujin: WIMP!  
(Irvine laughs at Quistis. Quistis kicks him while she is hanging there.)  
Quistis: Get it the hell out of here!  
Moomba: FOOD! (Runs after it, following it around and through people's legs.)  
(Moomba catches it and devours it.)  
Moomba: MMMM, meaty!  
Rinoa: EWWW!  
(Coughs up the head and the head goes flying and lands on Rinoa's head.)  
Rinoa: O.O (Faints.)  
Selphie: Ha ha, wimp….  
(Squall picks Rinoa up and sits her down in a chair.)  
Squall: Rinoa, are you all right??  
(Rinoa's eyes open all the sudden and she starts choking Squall.)  
Rinoa: All right, all right?? I just had a regurgitated mouse head go air born and land on my beautiful hair! Now ask me if I'm all right!!!  
Irvine: (rolls eyes.) Yea, she's all right.  
(Zell is working on the wiring trying to fix it. Quistis loses her grip and falls on Zell. Zell, when fell on, accidentally connects the wrong wires. The Ragnorak flies up and starts going faster than light.)  
  
(Moomba wakes up and sees that everyone is asleep on the ground. Moomba goes around and starts slapping people and waking them up. Eventually, everyone is awake.)  
Moomba: Where da hell is we?  
Zell: Let's see…. (Pulls up the 3D digital map.)  
Computer: Area Unknown….  
Selphie: WTF! The whole world was explored, how in the hell is there an "area unknown".  
Zell: Got me….  
BBR: Well duh, look out the window and lets see where we are…  
(They look out and see something very unfamiliar. They see a giant desert with a big yellow tower in the middle with a little cart-looking thing going up to it.  
Squall: Never seen that before….  
(Zell has the ship turn and sees a small town nearby.)  
Squall: Let's go down to that town and see where we are…  
(Zell flies the Ragnarok closer and lands it. Everyone starts to get out but Squall stops them.)  
Squall: We don't know where we are so we better equip or gf's, who knows what is out there…  
Selphie: Good thinkin'.  
(Everyone equips their gf's, form 3 groups, and head out. They almost get to the town when 2 weird wizards with cards attack them.)  
  
(Battle Mode)  
(The battle is Jokers versus Fujin, Raijin, and Moomba.)  
Raijin: WTF!, since when are you able to fight Moomba?  
Moomba: Since I stole a gf from the master of Shumi Village…  
(Joker flies up to Fujin.)  
Floating skull/wizard guys on spinning blades, Joker Joe: Pick a card.  
Fujin: HUH?  
Joker Joe: Pick a card.  
Fujin: WHY?  
Joker Joe: Pick a card NOW!  
Fujin: NO!….SCREW!…..THIS!…..  
(Fujin sends her weapon flying and has it cut the cards and half and as well as the Joker's head.)  
Moomba: I'm going to try out this gf….  
(Moomba summons gf. Taps toe waiting. Joker Schmoe comes up and cuts Raijin.)   
Raijin: You gonna die, ya know!  
Moomba: NO, I wanna see this gf work…  
(Joker Schmoe comes up to Fujin and persuades her to pick a card. Fujin picks a card that has a big, red heart on it and suddenly she gets engulfed in flame and she starts running around in pain.)  
Joker Schmoe: Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!  
(Moomba's gf finally comes. Gf's name is Moomba God.)  
Moomba God: I shall crush you!  
(Moomba God swipes at Joker Schmoe and deals 1 damage.)  
Moomba: WTF!!!  
Raijin: OK, we saw your lame ass gf now lets kill the bastard all ready.  
Moomba: -_-*  
(Raijin goes up and casts thunderaga on Joker 2 and kills him.)  
(Battle Ends)  
  
Quistis: (Trying to make Moomba feel better.) At least you'll be able to draw, use magic, use items, and use various other skills that your gf has. Also look at this way all that lame ass cerberus can do is cast double or triple, at least yours does some damage….  
(Big Three Headed Dog appears from no where.)  
Cerberus Head 1: WHAT!  
Cerberus Head 2: DID!  
Cerberus Head 3: YOU!  
All 3 Heads at once: SAY!!!!!!!  
(Cerberus stomps on her.)  
Rinoa: You get back her you bad dog.  
(Cerberus leaves.)  
Quistis: (Is crumpled on the ground.) owwww…. Phoenix Down please….  
Selphie: Nah, lets wait, we'll wait til we get into town and then use a inn or some other various rest spot….  
Quistis: I sure feel loved….. 


	4. Lost

Chapter 4: Lost  
(Group enters Mystery Town.)  
BBR: What a dump.  
Selphie: I dont remember anywhere this run down short of Trabia, but Trabia got all fixed up after the Ultemecia incident….  
Squall: Lets go talk to some generic characters, they always seem to tell us what we need to know.  
(Walks up and talks to generic guy.)  
Rubbish Collector Generic Character, Gary: Get out of my way. I'm getting stuff here. (Walks around in his usual generic route in the town.)  
Irvine: What a mean guy….  
  
Moomba Mage: Let's see if I can cut down the cussing in here…..  
Blubber god of Wutai, DaChao: Wimp, cussing makes it more interesting.  
Moomba Mage: I can't the censorship people are forcing me.  
DaChao: What censorship people?  
Moomba Mage: Oh shut up….  
  
Irvine: (Is feeling strange because of his choice of words.) That was …..weird……  
(The Group walks around town asking generic characters what town this is but get bits of information useful and non-useful.)  
Quistis: So as far as I can piece together is that a couple of months ago a comet was going to hit this earth but a group of heroes stopped the comet and the monster controlling the comet. (Smiles.) Also the guy up there and the girl at the end of town are having an affair, this town is run down because of a company called Shinra, the girl over there costs 60 gil if you want to have a good time….  
Fujin: ENOUGH!  
Rinoa: I think we already got the important information out of this town…  
Zell: Let's go to bed for the day it's getting dark….. OH SHIT!!!! (Looks at BBR.) Ma is going to kill me.  
BBR: Ha ha.  
Squall: But we haven't even found out what the name of this frickin' town is yet!  
Moomba: Are you guy's that dense???? (Points to sign's all over town.)  
(Signs vary from "Welcome to North Corel" to "North Corel's Honey Bee Inn".)  
Squall: (Says in dopey voice.) Signs?? What signs??? (Talks normal.) Just kidding, but I sure do feel stupid for not noticing those earlier.  
Raijin: OK, people lets go to the inn, chop chop, ya know.   
  
(Inn.)  
Generic Old Man, Moe: Hey now, we got a big group today. It's a good thing I added some rooms to this place I only got 5 rooms so I guess the munchkin, the mutt, and the mutated cat can sleep in one room. Scarface and the black haired whore can sleep in one room, the cowboy and the pointy-haired girl can go to another room, the tattoo punk and the dumb blond in another room, and the pirate lady and the jiggalo get the last room, OK?  
(Everyone looks shocked and is silent for a few moments?)  
BBR: WTF! Calling me a munchkin you Ass Hole!!  
(Rinoa lifts the old man that is very generic….y guy by his shirt.)  
Squall: Uh oh, he got her mad, if you think a normal girl's pms is bad, you haven't seen nothing with a sorceress's pms.  
Rinoa: (Says in devilish, deep voice.) I DON'T HAVE PMS!!!!  
Squall: Whatever you say my little sugar-butt.  
Rinoa: -_-* (whispers to Squall) you are going to die….. (Turns her attention back to Moe.) LOOK!, you had better just shut up or I'll knock out your teeth and have this "mutt" bite your wiener or what's left of it….   
Angelo: Yip! Yap! Bark!…… (translation: MMMMMMM, wiener…….)  
Generic Old Man, Moe: Yes sir, I mean ma'am….  
Moomba: (Grumbles.) Calling me a mutated cat you damn old bastard….  
(Everyone, in their minds, swear to make sure the old man is decapitated, except for Raijin.)  
Raijin: Ha ha, I'm a jiggalo, where's all da honeys, ya know.  
  
(Night has fallen and BBR, Angelo, and Moomba are asleep in their room. Raijin is snoring away in his room while Fujin is outside watching the stars and getting away from Raijin's sonic blast snores. Selphie is in a local restaurant and has some how made even the strongest and most ruthless men in there to sing "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain." Zell is back in the Ragnorak trying to figure out what happened and is thus far only managed to electrocute himself 50 times. Quistis is going around town gathering more gossip and information. Irvine, Squall, and Rinoa are talking with each other and trying to figure out there situation and where they are.)  
(Squall and Irvine are on the floor and Rinoa is looking out the window.)  
Squall: So from the looks of it we are pretty much lost in this out dated town.  
Irvine: Tomorrow maybe we can get a map?  
Rinoa: (Turns around.) Irvine, that's a good idea and probally one of your best ever but…… DON'T YOU THINK WE TRIED THAT ALREADY?  
(Irvine tries to cuss her out but a magical force is not allowing any cuss words to come out.)  
Irvine: Gosh darn it, I would sell my soul so that I could cuss again….  
  
(Irvine is magically transported into a red orb and a man in black is there too.)  
Hades: That can be arranged.  
Irvine: eep…..  
(Moomba Mage appears.)  
Moomba Mage: Hades, put the cowboy back, you'll get his soul soon enough from the way this guy keeps on cussed.  
Hades: Oh all right…..  
(Hades is about to send him back.)  
Irvine: (Gets down on his hands and knees.) Wait, please give me back the ability to cuss, its one of my one true joys in life. Well, that and Selphie in her bright yellow bikini. =)  
Moomba Mage: Oh all right….. (Gives Irvine back his ability to cuss.) I'm going to hate myself in the morning.  
(Irvine is transported back to his exact spot and is only a second after he disappeared.)  
  
Irvine: Wow, did you guys see that?  
(Rinoa is looking out the window and Squall is scoping out Rinoa's @$$.)  
Squall: (Looks at Irvine.) Huh? What?  
Irvine: Didn't you see me disappear?  
Squall: No….. Irvine, have you been eating those Winhill mushrooms again?  
Irvine: (Starts getting hysterical.) I did, I really did!  
(Rinoa walks up and slaps Irvine.)  
Irvine: Thanks, I needed that…..  
Rinoa: I wasn't trying to help you, I just felt like slapping you.  
  
(Meanwhile….)  
(Zell, Selphie, and Quistis have met back up with each other and are just strolling through town.)  
Zell: Wh-What are yo-you t-two u-up t-to?  
Selphie: (Looks at Zell confused-like.) ummmm, nothing really……. Why are you stuttering like that?  
Zell: I-I wa-was w-w-w-working on t-t-the air s-ship an-and g-got sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh….  
(Gets knocked on the back of the head by Quistis.)  
Zell: Shocked a l-lot.  
Quistis: Mind if I try a little experiment, it might make you stop stuttering…  
Zell: Y-Yes, any-anything…..  
(Quistis tweaks Zell's GF's elemental defense junction so that he has all his earth spells running through him in his defense.)  
Quistis: I set it up so that polarity electrons would be nullified by the unabsorbancy of the element of earth.  
Selphie: OK, and in our language that means?  
Quistis: Well, you know how electricity doesn't work as well on earth animals?  
Selphie: Yea…..  
Quistis: I just put earth into his defenses and so that should make the electricity not run through him.  
Zell: Wow, I'm not stuttering anymore, where did you learn all this stuff?  
Quistis: From Pokèmon….  
Selphie: (Laughs.) You play that crap?  
Zell: (Hides his gameboy with pokèmon blue version in it.) Yea, you play that crappy game?  
Quistis: Yea, it's a fun game. Besides…. (Looks at Selphie.) at least I'm, not playing that ancient, stupid game that you try and feed a stupid little mog so it can fly. You got ripped off, I mean, how could you pay 20,000 gil and the game even isn't portable.  
Selphie: Yea so, the little mog is cute and I find that game interesting.  
Quistis: You would….  
Zell: (Mumbles) Hoo boy, there's gonna be another cat fight. I had better get out of here before they drag me in.  
(Quistis and Selphie are yelling and saying why and which game is better.)  
Zell: You two, I'm gonna go to bed now, see ya in the morning.  
Selphie: Ok, good night.  
Quistis: Night.  
(Zell walks towards the hotel while Quistis and Selphie go on walking through town. Zell stops and talks to the hotel manager.)  
Zell: Um, hi, something's been bugging me, I was wondering why you were so mean to us when we first came here?  
Generic Old Man, Moe: I dunno, I never really thought about it. Usually, in this town you got to be mean though. Also one of the guys who saved us from the comet came from this town and that's the way he acts so we act that way to try and be tough like him.  
Zell: Oh, I've been hearing a lot about these people but, um, my friends and I were waiting in line for the new "Final Fantasy" movie so we've kinda missed the whole ordeal, can you tell me what happened?  
Generic Old Man, Moe: I don't know everything that happened but, as far as I know the guy, Barret, and a bunch of other people saved the world from a comet and saved the world from an evil corporation called Shinra. Shinra is now been taken over by a relative of the family and he isn't quite as ruthless as the previous owner's of Shinra.  
Zell: Hmmmm…… I don't remember anything like that ever happening.  
Generic Old Man, Moe: What was that?  
Zell: Oh, nothing, well, thanks for telling me, I'm going to bed now.  
Generic Old Man, Moe: Don't wet the Bed!…… I mean, good night. 


	5. Realization

Chapter 5: Realization  
(Everyone is outside and a little groggy. Even Selphie and BBR, who are usually so perky, are looking like the living dead.)  
Irvine: Hey everyone, let's go to Starbucks and get some coffee.  
(Everyone lets out grumbles and groans that can only mean yes. So everyone starts shambling around town looking for a Starbucks.)  
  
(And suddenly…)  
Generic Woman, Macy: EEK! ZOMBIES!!  
(Woman pulls out a can of Zombie-B-Gone and starts sprays it on the FF8 group. Group suddenly has all HP healed.)  
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh wait, you not zombies…  
Squall: What was that?  
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh, basically a revive spell in a can.  
Rinoa: Didn't know you could do that.  
BBR: Need coffee…  
Rinoa: Um, miss, do you know where a Starbucks is?  
Generic Woman, Macy: Starbucks? What's that?  
Raijin: It's a place to get coffee, ya know.  
Generic Woman, Macy: OH, you mean Cometbuck's. Just go down the street 'til you see the Bubba's weapon shop and then turn left, you can't miss it.  
Fujin: COMETBUCK'S…  
Squall: Whatever… Let's go.  
  
(Cometbuck's)  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Hi, can I take your order?  
Squall: We'll have an irish cream, 2 lattes, 2 mocha's, a black, an orange juice, 2 hot chocolates, and a diet soda….  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, and will there be anything else?  
Zell: (Yells from both.) Hey Squall, get 2 dozen donuts.  
Squall…whatever. I need 2 dozen donuts.  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, what kinds?  
Squall: Surprise us….  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want sprinkles?  
Squall: Don't care…  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want nuts?  
Squall: No.  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want me to get your lunch while I'm at it?  
Squall: No!  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want an oil transfer on your vehicle?  
Squall: NO!  
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want your order?  
Squall: NO!….wait-a-minute…..  
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: (Does Nelson from the Simpsons laugh.) Ha Ha!  
Squall: (Grabs Walter's shirt and lifts him up.) LOOK!, get us our frickin' order before I chop you in half with this big ass sword of mine.  
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: OK, OK, OK….. (Walks away for a second and returns with order.) Here you go.  
(Squall takes the order.)  
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: Would you like anything else?  
(Squall looks at him evilly and just walks back to his table.)  
Squall: OK, here's your stuff. (Sits order on table and takes his latte.)  
(Everyone takes their drinks. Moomba and BBR start grabbing donuts and gobbling them down.)  
Selphie: (Watches Moomba and BBR.) Man, someone can lose an arm in there.  
Zell: Hmmmmm…. Let's try something…  
(Zell nonchalantly grabs Raijin's wooden staff and sticks an end into the area above the donuts. In a second the end of the staff is turned into sawdust by 2 gnawing mouths.)  
Raijin: O.O MY STAFF!!!!  
Quistis: Man….  
Rinoa: I didn't know we had beavers here.  
(BBR burps and starts drinking while Moomba stops eating and takes a catnap.)  
Raijin: (Has a tear in his eye.) But what about my staff???  
Zell: Don't worry, I'll repair it.  
Rinoa: Let's go to the Ragnorak and see if we can find where in the hell we are.  
BBR: I thought we did know where we were? We are in North Corel.  
Rinoa: (Hits her forehead with disgust.) Duh, we know that this is North Corel but none of us have ever seen or heard of North Corel in our lives.  
BBR: Oh.  
  
(Inside Ragnorak)  
Zell: Quistis come here and let's see if we can find out where we are….  
Squall: Come one Rinoa, lets go see if there's any cleaning up we can do in the back…  
Rinoa: I don't want to clean!!!!!!!!  
Squall: (Makes a naughty smile and hints they should go in the back room.) Just come on…  
Rinoa: Oh, OK!  
(Squall and Rinoa go into the back room and accidentally leave the door open a crack. Squall and Rinoa can be seen and heard kissing.)  
Moomba: (Goes and pounds on the door.) You two, go get a room!  
Squall: OK…   
(Squall and Rinoa go upstairs to the room.)  
Moomba: Oy!  
Quistis: Anyway, let's check the map and computer data banks to see where we are.  
Zell: Hold on a sec, I'm setting the computer's audio and receptors up so that we can just ask the computer what we want to know and it will say it.  
Selphie: OK wiz kid.  
(Zell gives her an annoyed look and continues working.)  
BBR: I'm bored…  
Selphie: How can you be bored? This is more excitement than most generic people get in a lifetime!  
BBR: I want to go to that amusement park that everyone in town kept talking about… what was it called? I think it was something like Bronze Teacup… no, that's not it, maybe Yellow Crumpet….  
Fujin: GOLD SAUCER!!!!  
BBR: How do you know, you dumb broad?  
Fujin: (Rolls her eyes.) SIGN!!! (Points out window at giant billboard that says, "Come see Gold Saucer!" and below has directions saying that to get to Gold Saucer just enter North Corel and go to ropeway and ride up to it.)  
BBR: (Feeling kind of dumb and tries to hide it by saying….) Anyway, let's go.  
Quistis: No! We have to get this ship fixed and ready to go….  
Raijin: Awww, come on… don't be so mean, let's go and check the place out, ya know?  
Zell: Go ahead, its gonna be a while but I need Irvine and Fujin to help… (Loud noise from Squall and Rinoa's current location sounds through the ship.) I'm pretty sure, though, that Squall and Rinoa are a little busy and won't want to come right now.  
Quistis: Ugh, why do I have a feeling that I'm being dragged into one of those moments where if you don't go somewhere or do something you will not be able to leave or move on?  
Moomba: Oh stop pouting, let's go.  
  
(Ropeway Boarding Station)  
Quistis: Look at that rickety thing, I'm not going on…  
Selphie: Oh, come on scaredy-cat! (Selphie grabs Quistis's hand and drags her onto the ropeway.)  
(Door is shut and the ropeway cart takes them slowly up to Gold Saucer.)  
BBR: This looks fun….  
Quistis: (Is shuddering and turning green in a corner.) I hate this… I hate this… I hate this… (Keeps on repeating.)  
Raijin: Just enjoy the ride and think happy thoughts, ya know.   
Quistis: Hmmm…. Well let's see…. Getting off this damn deathtrap of a cart would be nice….  
Selphie: Hey, don't cuss in front of the kid.  
Quistis: (Sarcastically) Like the lil' brat has virgin ears anyway….  
BBR: What's a virgin?  
Raijin: (chuckles) Quistis is one, ya know.  
BBR: So a virgin is someone really mean?  
Raijin: Yea, someone really mean to guys… (Bursts out laughing.)  
(Quistis whips her whip around Raijin's throat and starts choking him.)  
  
(Gold Saucer Unloading Bay)  
(Raijin steps out looking mighty blue in the face, while Quistis is red faced with anger.)  
Moomba: Come on, let's go.  
(Everyone goes up to the ticket counter.)  
Generic Ticket Guy: 3,000 gil for a one day pass for all of you or 30,000 for a lifetime pass…  
Selphie: I'm not even sure if we have enough money for the 1-day pass….  
(Raijin steps forward)  
Raijin: I want a lifetime pass, ya know…  
Generic Ticket Guy: OK, here you go. (Gives them a golden peace of paper.) Go ahead inside.  
(Group enters.)  
Selphie: Where did you get the money, I thought you were broke?  
Raijin: (Grins.) I have this great guardian that I borrowed from Selphie, Diablo, so you don't expect me to just let the mug ability just sit around, ya know.  
Quistis: Humph… common thief…  
BBR: Video games, video games, I wanna play video games…  
Selphie: Yea me too, I'll take him.  
Moomba: OK, we'll come and get you later….  
Selphie: Wait… (Comes up to Raijin and gives him a hug.) Thanks for getting us in here… (Steps back.)  
Raijin: Your welcome, ya know… (Smiles happily.)  
Selphie: (Gets a mischievous look on her face.) You just got to see who taught that GF how to mug. Thanks for the money… (Holds open her hand and shows all the money she stole from him. Then she pushes BBR into the Wonder Square tube and then quickly leaves herself.)  
(Raijin's jaw hangs down in surprise.)  
Moomba: I'm gonna go makes some bets at the racetrack (Quickly takes some money from Raijin too and leaves.)  
Raijin: (Looks at Quistis.) Well, are you going to steal some money from me too?  
Quistis: Nah…, not yet anyway.  
Raijin: So where do you wanna go, ya know?  
Quistis: Well, this sign up here says that plays and opera are done at the place called Event, so lets go there.  
Raijin: Boring, ya know.  
Quistis: You are too coming you uncultured savage.  
(Quistis drags Raijin by the ear to the Event tube and go in.)  
  
(Event Square) * someone correct me or tell me if it right on what it really is called.  
(They walk in and sit down on a bench just as the curtain goes up. A sign says "The Comet" by Mrs. Keen's third grade class. A little girl dressed up in a long brown wig and an oversized pink dress comes out holding a marble then starts kneeling and praying.)  
Brown hair girl: I pray that the evil comet doesn't come down on "The planet" and go boom.  
Raijin: (whispering to Quistis.) How pathetic, ya know….  
Quistis: (whispering back.) Shut up, it's cute.  
(Little boy in a big white wig and a big sword appears and stabs the little brown hair girl.)  
Brown hair girl: ow! MRS. KEEN!!! Billy actually stabbed me!!!!  
Mrs. Keen: Billy! Detention after school.  
Raijin: Hee hee, get her Billy, ya know.  
(Quistis kicks him.)  
(Brown hair girl falls down "dead".)  
White hair boy: Ha ha ha, no one will be able to beat me and Jenova the monster with her out of the way and now the comet will come and destroy everything!  
(A group of kids including a little boy with spiky hair and big ass sword, little girl in tank top with gloves, a black kid with gun on his arm, a boy dressed up as a red dog/cat animal, a girl dressed as a ninja and holding some shurikens, a boy with a gun and a cloak, a girl in a big fat white cat with a littler cat on top of it, and a boy dressed as a grandpa with a spear.)  
Spiky haired boy: Not if we can help it…  
White hair boy: Come out Jenova and help me beat them.  
(A big ball with tentacles appears. The kids starting fighting the white haired boy and the Jenova monster. Then the kids stop fighting and the white hair boy and the monster fall down "dead".)  
Spiky haired boy: Now we have won and the evil comet won't crush the earth.  
(Sign pops down saying "The End".)  
Quistis: (Stands up.) Bravo, bravo, good play.  
Raijin: I'm confused…but the best part was where the boy stabbed the girl, ya know.  
Quistis: Ugh, what a dumb ass.  
Girl: (From behind them.) Personally, I wish they had given me a speaking part.  
(Quistis and Raijin turn around to see a more grown up version of the ninja girl on the play.)  
The childish short brown haired ninja lady with a big ass shuriken, Yuffie: Hi, I'm Yuffie, so you didn't like the play?  
Quistis: Oh hi, I'm Quistis, I liked it but my friend, Raijin, on the other hand…  
Raijin: I didn't like it that much, cause I didn't quite get what was going on, ya know.  
Yuffie: Oh well, they'll eventually get a better script of it.  
Quistis: So that was you that little girl was playing?  
Yuffie: Yea, they did OK basic costumes but she went for the wrong kind of ninja with that whole all dressed up in black look, I have the natural look and don't need black.  
Raijin: Yea, that you fell out of the bed and got dressed, ya know?  
(Quistis and Yuffie both smack him at the same time.)  
Quistis: That wasn't based on a true story, was it?  
Yuffie: What do you mean? Of course it was real life. You mean to tell me that you haven't heard the story yet?  
Quistis: Uh, no…  
Yuffie: If you want I could give you a lift on my gold chocobo to a friend of mine's place, he can give a good version of it.  
Raijin: A gold chocobo, ya know?  
Quistis: I dunno, I'd have to run it by with my friends. You see, we are kinda lost and we are trying to find our way home.  
Yuffie: Where is it?  
Quistis: We are trying to find a town called Balamb. We will have to return a kid we got stuck baby-sitting there.  
Yuffie: Never heard of Balamb.  
Quistis: How about Esthar?  
Yuffie: Nope.  
Quistis: Timber?  
Yuffie: Nein.   
Quistis: Know where any of the SeeD gardens are?  
Yuffie: SeeDs? Gardens? Last garden I saw was the Aeris Garden in Midgar.  
Quistis: We were all over "the planet" too, when that sorceress thing came up.  
Yuffie: Sorceress? I'm beginning to get the idea that you're not from around here.  
Raijin: (Sarcastic.) My, what ever gave you that idea, ya know.  
Quistis: Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends but first we got to find them.  
  
(Chocobo Racing)  
Moomba: YEA!!! GO BLACK CHOCOBO!!!!  
Quistis: That's Moomba over there. He's the short, red furball.  
Yuffie: OMG! He looks like my friend in Cosmo Canyon.  
Raijin: Hey Moomba, come on, time to go. (Grabs Moomba's tail and starts dragging him.)  
(Moomba pulls his tail out of Raijin's hand.)  
Moomba: Hold on a sec I betted on this race.  
(Black Chocobo runs across the finish line first.)  
Moomba: Yippee!!! I won! (Starts doing a victory dance.)  
Yuffie: Go see what item you won.  
(Moomba goes up to the prize counter and receives a purple marble.)  
Moomba: What in the hell is this?  
Yuffie: OH!! It's an enemy away materia! Please! Gimmee! Gimmee! Gimmee!  
Moomba: What's a materia?  
Yuffie: (Has a shocked look on face.) You seriously don't know what a materia is?  
Moomba: Uhhhhhh…. No.  
  
(Everyone gathered up, back on the airship.)  
Yuffie: Woah, I thought we were the only ones with an airship.  
Quistis: Hey everyone, this is Yuffie. We met her at the gold saucer. We tried to find directions back to somewhere we know from her but she hasn't heard of Timber and doesn't know what SeeDs or Gardens are.  
Rinoa: That is sure peculiar.  
Zell: I just got the computer back online, it should tell us where we are now.  
Computer: Current location is North Corel Area.  
(Yuffie looks astonished.)  
Yuffie: Wish we had our airship as technological as yours.  
BBR: We already know that, we need to know where our Balamb Garden is.  
Zell: Where is Balamb Garden currently.  
Computer: Balamb Garden is not here, it is currently 50,000 years in the future.  
All: O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Everyone: WHAT!!!!!  
Irvine: Zell, I think you messed up somewhere really bad.  
Zell: Computer, how did you come to that conclusion?  
Computer: Didn't you read the handbook? This ship and myself were orginally made for air, space, time and dimensional travel travel.  
Squall: Wow, we found out about the space and air travel but I never knew about that time and dimensional travel stuff.  
Computer: Well, how did you think the ship stayed in your time when Ultemecia had messed with time so you couldn't go into any towns and had to go fight at her castle.  
Squall: Ummm, no clue, it was there so I just took advantage of it….  
Computer: (grumbling) Yea, you hero types always take advantage of us machines that make things so damn convenient for you.  
Zell: We are getting off the subject here.  
Rinoa: So, how do we get back to our own time?  
Computer: The same way you got here but there's one little glitch, you will have to go through different times and different dimensions before you can get back to your own time and dimension. Also you have to spend a time span of at least 7-day period in each time/dimension before you travel onto the next place.  
Raijin: Say what, ya know?  
Quistis: It means we are going to have to go to each new place for a week and eventually we will get home.  
Irvine: Shit, and how long have we been here in the place?  
Computer: Exactly 1 day, 12 hours, 12 minutes, and 54 seconds.  
BBR: So what are we supposed to be doing 'til it's time to go to the next place?  
Zell: Let's get some hot dogs, it's lunchtime and I'm hungry.  
Selphie: HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY AT A TIME LIKE THIS?  
Zell: Uh, well let's see, my stomach growls and kinda crunches up signaling that I'm hungry.  
Fujin: IDIOT!  
Yuffie: You guys could come and crash with me and my friends for a while, I'm sure they would let you. And if worst came to worst we could go and stay at my dad's house in Wutai.  
Moomba: Yea, lets do it. 


	6. Meet the Locals

Chapter 6: Meet the Locals (Flying in airship) Yuffie: Let's head to Red's house first, I'm sure he'd be happy to meet you guys. (Cosmo Canyon) Rinoa: This place is fabulous and the sunset is exquisite. Moomba: When did you get all sophisticated and snobby, oh wait, you already were. (Rinoa casts Flare on Moomba) (Moomba runs around screaming with looking charred and his tail on fire.) Yuffie: YO RED! GET YOUR FURRY BUTT OUT HERE! Generic Tree Hugger: You should not talk about our leader that way. You need to calm down and get in tune with the earth. Yuffie: Sure, for some materia, I will. Generic Tree Hugger: You know that the only materia we get is the natural materia made by nature and those are hard to come by. Good thing that that awful materia-making company, Shinra, was closed. Yuffie: Bah, those take forever to get and most of the time they aren't even that good of materia. Red XIII: (From behind group) Still trying to get materia, I see. (Group turns around.) Irvine: (Looks straight over Red) Well, where is he. Red XIII: Yo, down here reject. Irvine: Who you callin' a reject you mutated mutt. Red XIII: Ooooh, snappy comeback. Yuffie: Break it up you too. Red XIII: Let's go, I was gettin' tired of meditating and being one with the earth and all that crud. Moomba Mage: Let's just shorten Red XIII name to Red `cause that XIII thing is getting annoying to type all the time. Red: Lazy ass.... Moomba Mage: Hey! I'm already going to have BBR get killed off because of his outburst, do you want to end up the same way? BBR: WHAT!?!? Moomba Mage: Just kidding.... (Suddenly a litter of little Red XIII's and a female Red XIII with curlers in her hair appear.) Red Sonja: (Glaring at Red) So you think you can just run off with your little Avalanche friends and just leave me here with the kids????? Red Jack: Come on, daddy, bring me. Red Monica: Me too! Red Fred: And me! Red Clarisha: Yea, I want to go see Aunt Tifa. Mommy, can I be a bartender just like Aunt Tifa? Red Sonja: See what kind of influence they have on our kids. I should kick your ass. While your out pick up some more kitty litter and some eggs. 

Red: OK, honey.... (Droops head.) (Whole group starts heading to airship.) Raijin: Damn, you got told, you shouldn't be lettin' the female part of the race wear the pants, ya know. Fujin: WHAT! (Fujin does a matrix style kick in the air to Raijin's head. Raijin goes flying and lands in front of the airship in the distance.) (In Airship.) Yuffie: We Probably should pick up Vincent first seeing how he's closest, so let's head to Nibelheim. And be prepared, there is a bunch of monsters in his house for some reasons. And if he offers some tarts, just eat them and say they are good, or else... (Grassy little area between airship and Nibelheim.) Yuffie: Come on, this way... (Battle mode) (Rinoa, Selphie, and Yuffie fighting 3 Nibelheim Wolves.) (Rinoa starts doing her make-up.) Yuffie: Is she always like this? Selphie: Yep. (Yuffie starts off by casting Stop on all 3 of the wolves and all 3 wolves get stopped.) Yuffie: It's over before it began. Selphie: Cheap, they didn't even get to put up a fight. (Wolves become unfrozen. They each go up and bite Selphie.) Selphie: Ewwww, dog slobber... (Attcks and causes a bunch of status effects and kills of the wolf at the same time.) Yuffie: (sarcastic tone) Oooooh and that wasn't cheap too. (Dog runs up and starts humping Rinoa's leg.) Rinoa: AHHHHH!!!! ANGELOOOOO!!! Kill this flea-ridden mongrel!!! (Angelo appears and does his Angelo Strike move and kills the Nibelheim Wolf off. Last wolf just stands their looking at Angelo. Angelo goes up to the wolf and starts sniffing it. They then soon start licking each other.) Selphie: Awwww... they like each other. Rinoa: I guess we could bring it along for a while. Who knows, maybe it'll make good breeding stock. (Battle ends) (Shows the wolf to the rest of the crew.) Irvine: Damn, just how many people and animals are going to be joining us? Squall: Yea and if those two mate we are gonna have a whole litter of wolf.... wolf.... uhhh, Rinoa? Exactly what breed is your dog anyway? Rinoa: Uhhhh.... it's a pure breed mutt. Squall: Ohhhh.... wait a sec.... if it can't be a mutt and a pure breed at the same time... Rinoa: Oh look, we're here... (Nibelheim town) Yuffie: Yea, this is our leader's hometown. When I came here there were a bunch of actors posing as the townspeople cause this bad guy named Sephiroth came here and slaughtered almost all the origunal inhabitants of this town. The two people who survived are on my team, Cloud the leader and Tifa the bartending whore. Red: Yea, Yuffie is pissed cause Cloud had the hots for Tifa and Aeris, who was killed by Sephiroth, and not her. (Yuffie grabs Red's tail and flings him far into the distance in front of Vincent's house.) Zell: Good thing his kids are in the airship playing video games with BBR and Moomba. (Vincent's House.) Fujin: DUMP!!! Raijin: This place is pretty messed up, ya know. Red: (Lookin pretty beat up.) Let's just get Vincent and get the hell outta here, I'm not in the mood to fight many monsters right now. Irvine: Specially since Yuffie just whooped you ass. (Red's tail knocks out Irvine's feet out from under him and Irvine falls flat on his face.) Red: ::laughs:: moron... Irvine: Why you stupid, lil' critter, get over here so I can tan your hide. Quistis: You know Irvine is pissed when he gets into the the deep red neck cowboy dialect. Red: Just try it, ya hick. Selphie: Ok, break it up you two. Yuffie: Yea, come on, the basement is this way. (Basement) Red: Just in this room is where Vincent sleeps. Raijin: It's in the middle of the day, ya know. Why is he asleep, ya know? Yuffie: He really likes to sleep. Rinoa: Ewww, look who dirty and dusty this place is. Squall: Where's the bed? All's I see is a bookcase, some boxes, and a coffin. Yuffie: (Knocks on the coffin.) Hey Vincey, time to rise and shine, you got visitors. (Vincent's coffin opens and he does the scary going from laying down straight to standing up bit.) Fujin: VAMPIRE!!! The Black haired, brown eyed, vampire dude, Vincent: I'm not a vampire... (looks around) and who are you people? Yuffie? Red? Why have you disturbed my sleep? Red: Don't get all burnt up, you have been in there for over a month. Besides we're rounding up everyone to meet these guys. Vincent: Fine, I guess i'll join you for a while. Zell: (Looks at the pink teddy bear in vincent's coffin.) Bwahahahahahahahahahaha... mister pale-and-scary has... has... has... a teddy bear to sleep with??? (Falls down laughing.) (Vincent eyes start glowing and he turns into a big red demon. Zell notices this and gulps. Then quickly runs out of the basement. Vincent turns back to normal.) Yuffie: Yea, let's get going to before someone insults him on his cooking. (Battle Mode) (Red, Vincent, and Squall Versus Yin/Yang) Yin/Yang: Boogah Boogah. Squall: (sarcastic) Oh how scary, i think i'll go run and hide! (runs up and slashes and fires gun and yin/yang.) Vincent: Nice gun... uh, sword... whatever... Squall: Hey, it's a gunblade and don't steal my catch phrase. Yin: You suck... Fire! (casts fire on Squall) Yang: Yea, you bite... Ice! (Ice ball falls on Squall's head.) Red: I'm under the impression that they don't like you Squall. Must be because you didn't get scared when they attempted to frighten us. Squall: ....whatever. (Vincent shoots at Yin and Red head butts yang.) Yin/Yang: You all suck grandma titties... (Yin/Yang runs up and pummels Vincent.) Vincent: Ok, i'm pissed... (transforms into Chaos.) Red: Aw crap, we wont be able to control him until the battle ends. At least the battle will be over soon now. (Vincent does a move so that a giant skull appears below Yin/Yang and kills it.) Yin/Yang: You suck baaaaalllllllssssss............ (dies) (Battle ends) Yuffie: Ok, enough sight seeing let's go get Cid. 


End file.
